THE 8 MOST ANNOYING THINGS FANS DO AT ROCK CONCERTS

I found My Morning Jackets 3 hour Bonnaroo performance on the internet yesterday and have given it a good solid purusing. It's pretty great. They play a bunch of covers and also a lot of songs from their last three albums. Listening to a live album makes me think about all the rediculous things fans do at concerts. I have comprised a list of the most annoying things concert goers do during a show (in no particular order at all...they are all annoying)

MOST ANNOYING THINGS FANS DO AT ROCK CONCERTS
1. When the singer mentions the state or city the concert is in with one of his lyrics. The concert goer cheers..."wooooooooooo!!!!"
example:
Color in your Cheeks-Mountain Goats
They came in by the dozens, walking or crawling
Some were bright eyed, some were dead on their feet
And they came from Zimbabwe or from Soviet Georgia,
East St. Louis, or from Paris, or they lived across the street
But they came, and when they finally made it here,
it was the least that we could do to make our welcome clear

For fuck sake East St. Louis is in a completely different state.

2. When a singer adds an "F bomb" to a line. Once again the concert goer screams "woooooo"
It should be noted that I enjoy when a singer throws in a timely "Fuck" or "Fuckin" to a song... But I dont yell "wooooo!"
example:
Is there a Ghost-Band of Horses
"Is there a ghost in my house, my Fucking house"--AWESOME!

3. When girls or stupid hippy "men" decide that you can dance at any concert just like you would dance at a Phish show.
First, that is not dancing. Second, people that dance like this only do so because they don't know what the hell else they should do...they also want people to know they are having a great time...
example:
We were at a Radiohead show and these girls who were with my friends girlfriend were dancing like gypsys to Idioteque or some other great song that does not warrant stupid ass hippy dancing. They also believe because they like Dave Mathews they have good taste in music. Oh how people can be so wrong...

4. When a fan feels it necessary to prove to everyone they are the "Number 1 Fan" by yelling in an approving manner after the first note in a song is played that they know what song they are playing. They are basically saying "Yeah I know their stuff...after one note...I like them that much...woooooo! I love My Morning Jacket more than you....I discovered them...I have been listening to them for like 8 years...back when they were playing small dives in Louisville."
NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.

5. At an Iron and Wine show last month some asshole decided to stand up in the balcony and yell something to Sam Beam. This is more like a paragraph-monologue of gibberish than one single statement. He then takes his shirt off and lassos it around, throwing it into the crowd. "Look at me look at me" What a fuck face. The only funny part was when the bouncers grabbed him and threw him into the womans bathroom.
As usual St. Louisans don't necessarily know how to react in these situations. First people started cheering and encouraging and then as they look around in uncertainty they realize that some people are booing...then they decide to boo. Quite a weird bunch.
When Renteria came back in a Red Sox uniform it was hilarious to watch the Cardinals fans try to figure out what they were supposed to do. They booed and then they cheered and then they just sat down.... Kind of rediculous.

6. My friends and I were at a Pearl Jam show in Nashville a few years ago and we were jumping up and down...because it was a Rock n Roll show and that is what you do...you jump up and down.
Some dipshit in front of us turned to us and asked if we could calm down a little bit. Mind you, we were not making any contact with this asshole in his polo shirt and khakis. He just simply said, "come on man I am with my girlfriend here can you guys relax a little"
"no man, we can not relax...this is a rock show....but that is quite noble of you to defend your girlfriend like that (mumbled---Fuckface)"

7. I really don't like the cell phone as lighters encore display. There is someone out there taking credit for this. What they don't realize is that they are basically admitting to inventing the "thunder sticks" at basketball games. Not something to be proud for.

8. People that yell out requests in the middle of a show.
What do you think is going to happen...
Fan in a Clash T-Shirt (even though they don't know why they like this band)-- "Play Immortality!!!!!"
Eddie Vedder- "Excuse me, young man in the Clash T Shirt. What would you like to hear tonight?"
Relax fan in the Clash shirt you might as well yell "Play Freebird"--If you have yelled this at a concert you should stay at home and listen to music on your headphones. Never go to another concert again.

I realize that I hate most people. I hate them until I have a conversation with them and realize that they aren't that bad of a person. I hate people that do these things at shows. All the conversation in the world will not change that.


My Morning Jacket [mp3] Aluminum Park (live at Bonnaroo)